Today is not mine.
I fucked up and slept late yesterday, even though I knew I had work early in the morning. I didn’t realize how tired I was going to be after work and took a nap. That nap time took up all my writing time.
- I don’t have time to properly care for my dog.
- I don’t have time to sit down and come up with something fun to write about.
- I don’t have time to rest.
- Not only don’t I have the time, but my energy is completely drained.
I used to have a lot of time for myself to pursue my challenges, but not anymore. I really need to figure out how to manage my time to be happy while working full-time, properly care for my dog, being in a relationship, and pursuing my reading and writing goals.
It doesn’t look like it’s a lot when I write it out like that, but I haven’t had a day for myself in a long time. It slowly starting to build up within me that I really need a break from everything.
Being in a relationship takes up a lot of time.
I need to figure out how to make this work and still have time for me to do my shit. I just can’t catch a rhythm with myself to get things done. I’m constantly working on my relationship, that my dog, my goals, and my time to recover and rest are all suffering.
I need some fucking solitude.
The longer I hold it off, the more bitter I’m getting as a person. I don’t like this post because it’s so negative, but I have to write something for today. This is what comes out of me when I have 20 minutes to write some half-assed shit.
I don’t feel like I deserve to do fun things unless I know I’ve hustled enough for myself. But here I am again, spending my time doing things that feel good right now, but don’t lead towards moving myself away from this shitty job and terrible daily routine.
I’m the happiest guy in the world and lately, I just haven’t been so happy.
Can you tell? Haha fuck.
I could cry and complain about it all I want, but no one gives a shit. Tomorrow is another day, and even though that day has already been committed to someone else, I’ll have another chance at figuring this all out.