THE STRUGGLE OF FINDING LOVE

These are my thoughts after being ferociously single for quite some time and having recently committed to a beautiful relationship.

A BETTER FIT

I used to look up to long-lasting monogamous relationships and think that they’ve got it made.

Somehow, within the periphery of that mindset, I felt like I wouldn’t be able to reach a similar level of sanctitude and happiness while being single.

True satisfaction isn’t derived from simply being in a long lasting relationship. A person who is truly satisfied has spent enough time learning about themselves and what it is that they’re looking for, then goes out to get it.

They test out different Lego pieces and then come to a conclusion when they find that specific one that fits just right.

We aren’t as clear-cut as Legos, though. 

We have the ability to transform the shapes of our personalities and lifestyles. As we develop and grow into better people, we make our shapes more and more unique.

As time goes on, we’ll constantly be refining our tastes and entering into different mindsets. We’re always picking up things along the way which worked, and removing all the things that haven’t.

Sometimes you’ve got to face the truth and realize that it’s better to simply leave that piece that just doesn’t quite fit—even if you’ve committed a lot of time to making it work—in order to start searching for something that does.

Why waste your time and energy trying to force a square peg into a circular hole?

Don’t waste years of your life looking for reasons as to why it should fit. Just ask yourself does it work? No? Then have some fucking dignity and muster up the courage to move on and look for a better fit.

A lot of people fall back on the numbers of years they’ve spent with someone as some kind of testament to how well they are, when really, the amount of time is irrelevant if the two simply don’t fit.

The difference between those who found a perfect fit early in life and those who might find it later, isn’t so much about which is better, it’s all about how well the pieces fit.

A fit found early in life will grow together and become stronger as time goes on, so long as both are willing to stay together. The same rules apply, but in this case, they’re two pieces growing together and influencing each other’s shapes.

Many internal and external forces will tug and tear at the connection between them, but those who weather the abuse, will find themselves secured tighter together. Any damages will actually make the two much harder to separate.

A fit found later in life will initially have it’s strength derived from how well these two immensely unique shapes connect.

Sure, an older more experienced piece could work with one that’s relatively new, but I think that the best fits are the ones between those with similar wear and tear. These pieces have been through countless trials with other pieces, and with every attempt at a connection, their shape slightly changes. One could only imagine the feeling of after years of looking, finding someone who just fits perfectly.

Granted, there’re so many pieces out there to sort through.

Anyone who simply finds something that fits should be considered lucky.

Most people will settle for something that works, others will be restless in their pursuits, countless others will pass on without ever finding a good fit, yet plenty will find exactly what they’re looking for.

There is no clear path to go about this process, just as there is a no way to determine which is better or worse. The experience in and of itself, regardless of what kind of connection ends up snapping together, is all about appreciating the ability to do so in the first place.

One of the most rewarding things about life is our ability to share it with another person.

Sometimes we get hung up on one piece as if they couldn’t ever be replaced, but the truth of the matter is, we live in abundance with perfect fits everywhere. It’s just a matter of clicking together and enjoying the fit for the moment, or choosing to stay held down for a bit longer.

In the end, we’re nothing but forgotten Legos out of a box.

Let’s just hope that when all is said and done, we end up being part of something much more amazing than our little individual pieces.

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