SAY “NO” MORE OFTEN

For this blog to work, I need to have one fundamental skill down:

Time management.

There’s absolutely no way I could take care of my dog, be a great boyfriend, keep a consistent fitness regime, work full-time, sleep, and create quality content without managing my time more efficiently.

I’ve been trying to “wing-it” for the past few weeks and I just can’t do it.

When you need to eat everything on your plate, you can’t just dive in without a plan. You need a method. You need a plan of attack. My plate has been so full nowadays that I’m setting myself up for failure in all my endeavors if I don’t get this handled.

The primary goal of this blog is to do twelve consecutive 30-day challenges for 2017.

This objective precedes all others. There’s no way I can ever be happy if I don’t have something that I’m doing for myself, at all costs. I’m too much of a giver, and at this rate, I’m going to give all my time away to anything/anyone that asks nicely.

I need this more than anything.

To prepare myself for such an undertaking (and to actually fucking enjoy it) I can no longer go about my days like a blind-folded idiot. I’m going to have to plan my days like any professional plans their days.

It sounds like I’m a fucking idiot for not already doing this, I know.

With a new puppy, a new relationship, and a new undertaking of my passions, I need structure. I have other things that demand my attention, and “winging it” just won’t do.

I’m finding that I’m getting infuriated with myself at the end of every night. That’s unacceptable. I can’t allow myself to get angry about something that’s so simple to correct.

That stops here. The fucking pity party and the complaining stops NOW. From this day onwards, everything will be planned, including my free time. No more fucking around.

Most people don’t take their time seriously unless it belongs to someone else.

Work and school are great examples of this. When your time belongs to something, people will understand. You will understand. If you can’t manage your time, you’ll be in my position: crying about it in an obscure little corner of the internet.

Fuck that. Discipline = freedom.

Allocate your resources. Adhere to budgets. Execute.

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THE NEW AMERICAN DREAM

The standard social narrative is degrading with each passing month.

No longer is it possible for someone to spend 40 years in a single career. Buying a house in this economy is starting to look like a horrible investment, as more and more people are finding it more enjoyable and cost efficient to use that mortgage money to travel the world and sleep at Air BnB’s.

Bachelor’s degrees are starting to become worthless, and the cost of a post-grad education puts many people my age in indentured servitude for nearly a third of their lives. And those who are willing to do so, don’t even end up getting a job in their field of study, ending up living their lives paying off an education that never paid the promises that were promised to them.

For fuck’s sake, I know many people who don’t even consider ever getting married or having children.

You know that dream of having a big house with a white picket fence, 2.5 children, and a decent retirement fund?  It’s dead. 

Yet, the social pressure to achieve exactly that seems to prevail.

When was the last time you met anyone with a burning desire to become someone incredible or to do something amazing?

I believe that we’re so focused on making other people happy, that we get sucked into spending our entire lives trying to impress people that don’t matter to us. Or we’re pressured by our parents and grandparents to become some kind of human trophy that they could show off to strangers that don’t even matter to them.

This “social pressure” to follow the path of generic success is leading most people to live lives that they don’t want to live.

And to that, I respectfully say, FUCK YOU society.

This blog is my personal attempt to revolt at the common social narrative. I’m going to use this site as my personal vehicle of accountability. The upcoming challenges that I plan on undertaking will show you all the fun and enjoyment that comes along with all the struggle and pain of progress.

I want to document all facets of my progress, good and bad, to give a realistic view of what it actually takes for someone with a burning desire to become someone incredible and to do amazing things.

I know, this is a lot of big talk from a nobody. But hey, everyone has to start from somewhere.

 

WHATEVER MUSIC YOU LIKE, LISTEN TO A LOT OF IT.

I’ve included above a video playlist of all the songs listed in this week’s edition of Tempo Tuesday.

The links below lead to each standalone song.


Anderson .Paak & The Free Nationals – Tiny Desk Concert

This is a short 15-minute concert performed by Anderson Paak and his bandmates. The sheer talent and impeccable delivery makes this group extremely hard to NOT appreciate.

“Good luck trying to classify Anderson .Paak and his band The Free Nationals. Much of their sound is layered atop a soulful hip-hop foundation; from there, your safest bet is to call it a hodgepodge of genres in the best way possible.

Guitarist Jose Rios and bassist Kelsey Gonzalez inject a hard-rock edge into the Hi-Tek-produced “Come Down,” this set’s opening number. When you hear them play the first few jazz chords of “Heart Don’t Stand A Chance,” it’s hard to simply call this R&B.”
– Bobby Carter,  via NPR Music


Stage Kids – Cyniculture

“This is one of the most unique albums I’ve heard in a while. It’s a mad science concoction of space-jazz, math-groove mixed up with electronic/programming sensibilities. These kids are pure talent and I’m on the edge of my seat waiting for their next release.”

-Jon Ponton, via Bandcamp user comment section


Glass AnimalsSeason 2 Episode 3

“everyone knows someone like the character from this song. someone who does nothing. all day. every day. there are lots of references to different psychedelic cartoons and old video games in this one. including adventure time. sonically we tried to make sounds that would have been floating around in the character’s brain…sounds that could have been in those cartoons and video games. and there’s a line about mayonnaise”

-Via the Glass Animals official Facebook page.


Two AnotherKeeping Me Under

I fucking love the bass in this jam. I think this song is about the struggle that a guy is having when he starts having emotions for a girl. There’s something that I vibe with about the inner struggle that comes with being emotionally entangled with someone when you’re used to being single.


Warm BrewThe Mission

“Much like the track, it is a hazy, West Coast thing. The guys (Ray Wright, Serk, and Manu Li) roll through a stoop-side cookout, to an extravagant dinner party over looking the ocean, and then back again — one long, lackadaisical day that represents both their success and their roots.”

– Zara Golden, via thefader.com

I grew up listening to west coast rap and this shit feels old and new at the same time. You got to check this jam out if you like the 90’s rap vibe.


ValleyzThe Morning (feat. DVWEZ & Olukara)

A mellow hip-hop jam with a sultry female intro that dives right into rap verse that’s made to be consumed with coffee as you drive to work on a foggy morning. I’d like to be all artsy-fartsy about describing the sound to you, but to be completely honest, I just really like those plucky sounds. Mhmm fuck.


BANKSFuck With Myself

“Fuck With Myself” premiered as Zane Lowe’s World Record on Beats 1 Radio. During her interview with Lowe, Banks talked about the song’s birth, particularly its title:

“I was diving into my fear. Sometimes you just dive into overthinking, and I guess I was just venting. My dear friend and collaborator Tim Anderson was in the studio with me and after I was done with my little rant, he was like, “Do you want me to read you some of the statements that you just said?” I didn’t wanna hear it. And then he said, “You said, ‘I fuck with myself more than anybody else.’” It felt so perfect for that day and I needed it so bad, and I gave it to myself.”

BANKS via Genius.com


Tom MischCrazy Dream (feat. Loyle Carner)

I fucking love Tom Misch. All of his music has this calm vibe but still gets you into a feel-good upbeat groove.This song talks about the surrealism of life and how sometimes the most mundane events of our past can have incredibly strong emotions attached to it. I think. At least that’s my interpretation of it. Great jam regardless.


Balance And The Traveling Sounds Something About Us (Daft Punk cover)

This is an incredible jazz cover of Daft Punk’s Something About Us. Check out these comments from some Reddit users:

“I don’t know why but this song always makes me tear up. I just feel like it excellently captures the uncertainty in relationships and life in general. In particular, there were those times when I’d drive home on a rainy night after failing to get the girl and this song would play, and it would just so perfectly match the mood, I’d just feel overwhelmed.”

– theBMB, via reddit.com

“I used this song to propose my wife… She loved it!”

– Shoninjv, via reddit.com


Enjoy.

GIVE IT STRUCTURE & LET IT FLOW

This will be my new weekly schedule.

The themed days will become categories that I’ll post for throughout the week. Once I get a few weeks of this in, I’ll change the layout of the blog to include the each themed day as a menu option for easy reference.

“Once you give something structure, the fun part is filling it in.”

As I progress into this year’s upcoming 30-day challenges, I’ll still adhere to the weekly structure that I’ve laid out below, but the months themselves will have a theme that the weeks within them will align with.

THE SUNDAY SUPREME

Sundays will be my day for posting a video of some sort.

In the past, I had a personal vlog called The Sunday Supreme, where I would discuss my insights and thoughts about certain events of the past week. In time, I want to expand into making videos every day, but for now, Sunday will have to do.

METHOD MONDAYS

Mondays will be my day for making a post about planning something.

Starting next year, I plan on undertaking 30-day challenges for every month of the year to build up my creative skill sets and have something to write/talk about. Mondays will be the day I talk about restructuring and refining my approach for the rest of the week.

 TEMPO TUESDAY

Tuesdays are for sharing music.

I’m an avid music lover, and I spend a ton of time sifting through endless seas of digital shit in order to find that good-good for your soul. I’ll be posting some of my favorite finds (old and new, but mostly new) on this day. Without a soundtrack to your life, everything seems less interesting. Always make room for music.

WRITTEN WEDNESDAY

Wednesdays will be for writing, merely for the fact that writing starts with “w.”

On this day, I will post something that I’m proud of that’s around the 500-word length. Sometimes I get too excited and end up writing 1500-2000 words, but I’ll try and keep it short. If I could say in 500 words what typically takes me 2000 words, then I’m doing it right.

ANTHOLOGY THURSDAY

Thursdays will be my day to review a book.

I read, at the very minimum, a book a week. I do this mainly through the use of listening to audiobooks while driving or walking my dog, so take the word “read” with a grain of salt. Having a day to reflect deeply on a book that I’ve recently read would be a good way of hardwiring that knowledge into my psyche.

GIVE A FUCK FRIDAYS

Fridays will by my day to scour WordPress blogs, Youtube Channels and other avenues of content creation and send out some love.

I don’t care so much about others liking my work, but that doesn’t mean that I’m not an active participant in showing my love for the work of others. I may use this day to post a Yelp review that I just wrote or recommend a blog or YouTube channel, but this day will be focused on literally sending out “likes” and comments to all those who work hard to keep me entertained.

SATURDAY SAMPLIN’S

On Saturdays, I’ll gather a sampling of all the interesting things that I find on Reddit for the past week.

I dig deeper than your average casual user, so it’ll be fun to share some of the cool stuff that I stumble upon. This might be a collage of images, a response that I really enjoyed writing or reading, or some other form of being attention to others because I see some kind of value in their content.

 

 

 

THE STRUGGLE OF FINDING LOVE

These are my thoughts after being ferociously single for quite some time and having recently committed to a beautiful relationship.

A BETTER FIT

I used to look up to long-lasting monogamous relationships and think that they’ve got it made.

Somehow, within the periphery of that mindset, I felt like I wouldn’t be able to reach a similar level of sanctitude and happiness while being single.

True satisfaction isn’t derived from simply being in a long lasting relationship. A person who is truly satisfied has spent enough time learning about themselves and what it is that they’re looking for, then goes out to get it.

They test out different Lego pieces and then come to a conclusion when they find that specific one that fits just right.

We aren’t as clear-cut as Legos, though. 

We have the ability to transform the shapes of our personalities and lifestyles. As we develop and grow into better people, we make our shapes more and more unique.

As time goes on, we’ll constantly be refining our tastes and entering into different mindsets. We’re always picking up things along the way which worked, and removing all the things that haven’t.

Sometimes you’ve got to face the truth and realize that it’s better to simply leave that piece that just doesn’t quite fit—even if you’ve committed a lot of time to making it work—in order to start searching for something that does.

Why waste your time and energy trying to force a square peg into a circular hole?

Don’t waste years of your life looking for reasons as to why it should fit. Just ask yourself does it work? No? Then have some fucking dignity and muster up the courage to move on and look for a better fit.

A lot of people fall back on the numbers of years they’ve spent with someone as some kind of testament to how well they are, when really, the amount of time is irrelevant if the two simply don’t fit.

The difference between those who found a perfect fit early in life and those who might find it later, isn’t so much about which is better, it’s all about how well the pieces fit.

A fit found early in life will grow together and become stronger as time goes on, so long as both are willing to stay together. The same rules apply, but in this case, they’re two pieces growing together and influencing each other’s shapes.

Many internal and external forces will tug and tear at the connection between them, but those who weather the abuse, will find themselves secured tighter together. Any damages will actually make the two much harder to separate.

A fit found later in life will initially have it’s strength derived from how well these two immensely unique shapes connect.

Sure, an older more experienced piece could work with one that’s relatively new, but I think that the best fits are the ones between those with similar wear and tear. These pieces have been through countless trials with other pieces, and with every attempt at a connection, their shape slightly changes. One could only imagine the feeling of after years of looking, finding someone who just fits perfectly.

Granted, there’re so many pieces out there to sort through.

Anyone who simply finds something that fits should be considered lucky.

Most people will settle for something that works, others will be restless in their pursuits, countless others will pass on without ever finding a good fit, yet plenty will find exactly what they’re looking for.

There is no clear path to go about this process, just as there is a no way to determine which is better or worse. The experience in and of itself, regardless of what kind of connection ends up snapping together, is all about appreciating the ability to do so in the first place.

One of the most rewarding things about life is our ability to share it with another person.

Sometimes we get hung up on one piece as if they couldn’t ever be replaced, but the truth of the matter is, we live in abundance with perfect fits everywhere. It’s just a matter of clicking together and enjoying the fit for the moment, or choosing to stay held down for a bit longer.

In the end, we’re nothing but forgotten Legos out of a box.

Let’s just hope that when all is said and done, we end up being part of something much more amazing than our little individual pieces.

GIVE YOURSELF A CHANCE

You don’t become amazing if you keep thinking reasonably.

A person who excels above others learns to be comfortable when surrounded by doubt, worry, and failure. Regardless of how far you fall, if you’re consistently focused on getting up, that’s all the reason to keep pushing on. It’s a matter of making the right decisions at the right time and working hard.

Cut the bullshit and just give yourself a chance. If you are struggling with something, just push on a bit longer than you think you can. You’ll find that you are really capable of much more than what you credit yourself.

Physical pain and emotional pain can be overcome with physical strength and emotional strength. It just takes the right mindset to pursue it actively.

Complaining and living a life that is governed by doubt, worry and failure won’t give you the satisfaction you need to be happy.

The best type of failure is the one you get after you’ve tried your hardest not to fail. It should fuel you to work harder, think smarter and react better.

  • Good failures bring you down to earth and improve your direction and motive.
  • Good failures make you think about what you can do to become better.
  • Bad failures happen when you don’t think things through, and you beat yourself up for it.
  • Bad failures make you want to quit whatever you were initially pursuing because everything is just too complicated and challenging.
  • Bad failures happen when you fail and automatically begin to think negatively, then find yourself too lazy to find a solution.

Well, guess what happens to be the difference between the two?

Good and bad failures are exactly the same.

It’s your mindset that determines which perspective you ultimately follow.

It might make perfect sense when you read this, but it’s not until you actually feel like shit and begin questioning yourself that you know what I’m saying.

Like halfway through your first 10-mile run when you think that it just might be too far. Or halfway through a challenging study session where you find yourself not learning anything after six hours of reading. Maybe you just started a training regime, and you gained ten pounds. Shit, maybe you feel like you’re too old to pursue what younger, better “planned-out” people are pursuing.

I’m talking about that really low feeling you get when things just seem to turn to complete shit.

I’m writing this with personal experience. By no means am I great at anything, but on many occasions, I’ve managed to fuel myself solely on willpower and reaped the rewards of doing so.

It is truly motivating to hit any goal and to begin to go farther than you originally planned. The sad thing is, there happens to be just enough hardship between wishing for your dreams and actually achieving them, that so many people to quit way before they ever really began.

Keep in mind that no matter what trouble you may be facing, no matter how significant it may or may not be, you always have to pick one path between two choices: push on or give up.

Take my advice, push on.

Cut the bullshit and just give yourself a chance to succeed. If you just let yourself push on, your goals will be attained, your wishes fulfilled, and your whole life will be elevated a step higher than those who face similar obstacles and choose to give up.

Give yourself a fucking chance.

3 THINGS THAT TRUMP USED TO BECOME OUR NEXT PRESIDENT

Have you ever been interested in a YouTube video, started to watch it, then stopped because it was too damn long?

What about clicking on an article that looks interesting, only to see that it’s long as fuck and you pass it up because you ain’t got no time fo’ dat shit.

You acted that way because these three things were either out of balance or weren’t met at all:

  1. Keep it short and simple.
  2. Make it emotionally charged
  3. Deliver it with undeniable confidence.

If you create content and want people to consume it, the balance of these three things will give you the best chance at gathering an audience.

I mean, look at Donald Trump.

He always kept things short, delivered it with charisma, and everything he said invoked strong emotions within people. It doesn’t even matter what emotions he invoked.

Positive or negative, you’re still allowing yourself to feel strongly about him, and at that point, he’s already in your head, and you’re following his lead.

I’m not going to get into any political talk, mostly because I don’t know shit about politics, but his example of keeping things simple, making it emotionally charged, and delivering it with undeniable confidence stands true.

This is why these three things work:

Keep Things Short & Simple

Imagine two people:

  • The first person could explain something to you in five minutes and guarantee that you’ll understand it.
  • The second person could describe that same thing to you in two sentences and still ensure that you’ll understand it.

Who would you want to listen to?

The same idea works with technology. iPhones have a simple interface, a single button, and it’s OS is intuitive as fuck. And for those reasons, it’s the most popular phone to ever hit the market.

When you keep things simple, you are doing all the work for your audience.

By making things as easy as possible for your audience to consume, they will be more likely to consume it. Not only that, but many more people will be willing to consume whatever it is you’re offering for the simple fact that it’s easy to consume.

Make It Emotionally Charged

This is sales and marketing 101.

The way to make anything stick inside someone’s head is to give emotion to it. Have you seen those Newport cigarette ads in magazines where no one is smoking, and everyone is just having fun?

You don’t sell your product; you sell the emotions that your product can give.

Having emotions about something tells our minds that we have some deeper level of investment for that thing. Being the extremely social creatures that we are, we also tend to mirror the emotions of those who we pay attention to.

If you’re in a great mood and you project that energy to everyone that you talk to, you’ll see that attitude reflected back onto you more often than not. This works because most people are going about their day with a neutral vibe and neutral vibes are the easiest to sway when emotional energy is being projected.

Emotions = investment, and you can create emotions by being emotionally charged.

Deliver With Undeniable Confidence

No one is going to listen to you, let alone any horseshit that you have to say if you don’t believe in yourself.

Confidence and decisiveness are qualities that people tend to gravitate towards. The very moment we see someone, we begin judging them on how confident they are of themselves.

From the intonation of their voice to their body language and how they carry a conversation, we are always looking for signals of confidence.

Why? Because confidence = trust.

No one will listen to someone who is unsure of themselves. But, if you speak to someone with complete confidence in yourself about whatever you’re talking about, not only will you get their attention, you’ll be more likely to have them follow your lead.

Final Thoughts

If these three things are in balance, then you end up with something that’s both powerful and easily consumable. People are hungry for that shit, regardless if it’s bad for them.

Feed them!

Get to the fucking point, make that shit pop, and believe the fuck out of it.